Anger is a normal usually healthy human emotion. When it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to various problems. It can and usually does effect the quality of your life as well as your relationships. It can make you feel that you are at the mercy of an uncontrollable and powerful emotion.
Anger can be a response to internal and external events. You can be angry at a specific person or event or your anger may be caused by worrying about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events an also trigger angry feelings. People use a combination of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their anger. The three main approaches are expressing, surpressing and calming. Expressing anger in an assertive, not aggressive, way is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are and how to get them met without hurting others. Being assertive means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can also be suppressed and then converted or redirected. The aim is to inhibit your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger of suppression is that it does not allow outward expression. Your anger can turn inward on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause high blood pressure or depression. Unexpressed , it an also lead to passive aggressive anger or a personality that leads to being cynical and critical. People who have not learned to constructively control their anger are not likely to have many successful relationships. Inevitably someone will get hurt. There are strategies you can learn to keep destructive anger at bay: relaxation techniques, cognitive restructuring, problem solving, better communication, using humor, changing your environment and assertiveness training. You cannot eliminate anger completely. Things will happen that cause your anger. life can be quite frustrating at times. Pain, loss, and provocation by others will occur.
You cannot change that, but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Exploring the causes is necessary to handling the anger. We can help you take charge of your anger and manage it in your daily life.